Community

Miss Potter Mittens by Nicola Faull in Sublime DK and Debbie Bliss Angel

For Madeleine, whose hands are never idle

As a first-time mother, one of the few certainties I had was the knowledge that a knock would sound on my door most weekdays soon after 2pm, meaning in a manner comprehensible even to post natal befuddlement that I needed to be up and dressed by then.

And waiting outside, en route to the park, would be Madeleine and Olivia leading a flotilla of buggies, babies, toddlers, wooden trikes and bikes with stabilizers. Perhaps Cathy, Liz, Abigail, Jeannine, Sue, Pat or Anne or any of many others might  be there too, all kitted in an array of either anoraks and boots or sunglasses and sunscreen, depending on the season - some pride was taken in making the trip regardless of external forces such as rain, wind, hail or snow.  Buggy trays were loaded up with changing bags, extra clothing, drinks and Cracottes, and once everyone had been collected, the whole formation would lurch off on its defined purpose.  The playground in the park was more or less the bullseye, where energy was burnt off, new friendships consolidated as well as urges to shove someone off a swing, slide or seesaw fulfilled, while sleep starved mothers speculated on exactly how many spoons of Dozol you could reasonably administer under pressure (...!) (or how many bottles of the stuff you might feel like drinking yourself).  

The wind-down was once round the pond to feed the overfed ducks and then back for tea to someone's - usually Madeleine's - and finger painting, play doh, toy cars and new-fangled videos rented from Metropolis. Often we'd stay on while the children all ate dinner together around 5pm, and by the time that was all over, they were almost ready for bed.  

We - mothers and children - thrived on the ritual which passed the afternoon mostly cheerily and productively - the children learned to socialise and mothers maintained sanity by pooling resources on everything from tantrums to teething, from husbands and local gossip to how to make really good spaghetti with lentils and tomato....  I say “we”, but at the van and rearguard, above, below and beyond, the driver and instigator of this vital community was Madeleine, an intuitive and tireless organizer and all- round good egg .  I'm delighted to say also that after almost 30 years, she's still a very great friend too.

And from this seemingly inconsequential daily trip, a whole panacea of friendships and shared interests developed, spanning generations and incorporating swapped baby-sitting sessions, formed committees, organised parties and in general  promoting the beauty of mutual arrangements, where nobody is hard-done-by and everyone comes out a winner.